


Broken Bonds

by Meredith_Sinclair



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-18 21:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13109001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meredith_Sinclair/pseuds/Meredith_Sinclair
Summary: What happened after The Last Jedi and the consequences. "When you look into the darkness, the darkness looks into you". But does the light do the same? /TLJ SOPILERS - Of course!/ And obviously, complete Reylo trash -you were warned.If you were a previous follower, I have substantially edited the last 6 chapters - the story ends up in the same place, but how they get there has been expanded.





	1. Chapter 1

_*A/N – Yes, I have recently been binging on ST:TNG and “Darmok” is one of my favorites._

_Temba, his arms wide,  y’all._

* * *

 

Rey sat on the bed her small chamber. She was lost in her thoughts, watching the system's twin suns set through her tiny window. She couldn't stop reliving the events of the last days, picking over what had gone wrong and what she should have done differently. Her hands absently toyed with the remains of the destroyed lightsaber, occasionally fitting the two pieces together. They fit perfectly, but they would never be joined again. She had not felt Kylo Ren's presence with her since she had closed the door on the Falcon. And that was how she thought of him now. Ben Solo was gone. A tear slipped down her cheek.

The Resistance, now down to just a handful of fighters, fled to the outer rim planet of Dactar, in the Tanagra system and had holed up in a tiny, abandoned Rebel outpost that only General Organa had known about. Much like the Crait base, it was supplied with outdated communications equipment and rusting munitions. But the power generators were still working, and the provisions were still good, so at least they were sheltered, warm, and fed.

She hadn't even realized she had slipped into sleep until the comm panel in her chamber beeped. It was deep night now.

"Rey?" It was Poe Dameron.

She sat up, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, yawned and stretched before she answered.

"Yes?"

"General Organa wants to see you" he said.

She sighed. "I'll be right there". She stuffed the pieces of the broken lightsaber under her pillow and headed for the medical bay. Everywhere she looked she saw sadness. They were all prepared for mourning. The blast that had sent the general into the vacuum of space had taken a serious toll. While she briefly rallied during the escape to Crait, she lost consciousness on the Falcon shortly after giving Chewie the coordinates for the Rebel base, and had been taken directly to the medical bay on their arrival on Dactar. Her condition was critical and the outdated medical equipment and supplies were of little help. Rey steadied herself for a moment before entering. Poe was at General Organa's side, holding her hand. She looked so pale and fragile. Her vitality and strength were fading. Poe smiled at Rey and gently shook General Organa's shoulder.

"Rey's here" he whispered.

General Organa opened her eyes and smiled weakly.

"Rey" she whispered. "Come here. I need to speak with you. Poe, can you give us a few minutes?"

"Of course" he said, and he gave Rey an encouraging smile and her arm a gentle squeeze as he left.

Rey sat in the chair Poe had vacated.

"General Organa" she began.

The general raised her hand and stopped her.

"Please call me Leia" she said.

"Leia" Rey began again, but Leia stopped her again.

"I know that I don't have much time," She spoke so softly, Rey had to strain to hear the words over the chirps, clicks, and whirrs of the medical equipment.

"Rey, I need you to tell me about my son. What happened on Ahch-To and on the Supremacy. Poe read me the report, but I need to know what you saw."

Rey's eyes filled with tears. She took Leia's hand and began to speak.

"I saw him, Leia. On Ahch-to. Not Kylo Ren. Ben. He was there, somehow. The first time, I didn't know what was happening. It was morning and I had just woken up. I heard something – breathing that wasn't mine. When I looked, I could see him, as clearly as I see you now, sitting across from me. I was so startled; I grabbed my blaster and shot him!" Leia chuckled.

"But he wasn't really there. I just managed to blow a hole through the hut. The next time, was in the rain. I was under the Falcon, listening to the sound of it, and again it got silent, except for his breathing. I turned and saw him. He said the Force was connecting us, but neither one of knew why. He asked if Luke told me what happened the night he destroyed the temple. I said 'I know everything I need to know.' I called him a monster, and he told me that he was. " She was crying again. It was so hard to tell Leia these things.

"The next evening, it happened again. I have never been able understand what he did at Starkiller base. So I asked him why he hated his father." She hesitated. Was it right to tell Leia all of this? Leia's thumb stroked her hand, letting her know it was all right. She wanted to hear this."Why he killed Han."

"He said," she paused to take a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "He said he didn't hate his father, but the past had to die, 'Kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be' he said. Then he asked me if Luke had told me what happened the night he destroyed the Jedi temple. I told him that I knew everything. But, I didn't. He told me…" another pause. She was about to tell this dying woman that her brother had tried to kill her son. The words stuck in her throat.

"I know what happened, Rey" Leia managed to say. "Luke told me the truth."

Rey could only nod, and continued.

"The last time, our connection felt so natural. I needed it so badly. That day, I had explored the dark cave on the island, looking for answers. I knew it was not the right thing to do, but Luke was always so distant; he pushed me away every time I tried to find answers. There seemed to be no other way. In that dark place, I found nothing, only more confusion. It seemed that I would never find anything I was seeking. I felt so lost and alone. When I returned to my hut, I sat by the fire, trying to get warm, feeling like the only person in the galaxy, and then there he was. Ben. He took one look at my face and sat down in front of me. All he said was 'Tell me' and it all poured out. He listened to me, heard my fears, and then he said…."

She broke off, tears coming faster at this memory.

"He told me I wasn't alone. And for the first time, I felt that I wasn't. He was so sincere. I have been so confused since I felt this thing in me awakening, I finally felt that someone understood, and wanted to help me. At the same time, I felt his pain and conflict, his loneliness. I said, 'Neither are you' and offered him my hand. He took off his glove and reached out to me, so slowly, like a frightened animal. But he did reach out and he touched my hand. Just for a moment. And in that moment, I saw his future! As clearly as I see this room. I saw him turning back to the light. Leia, I was with Ben that night, not Kylo Ren. And I believe it was Ben I was connecting with every time. That Ben was still there. He could be saved. That's why I left and went to the Supremacy. I knew I could bring him back. And when I was kneeling before him in Snoke's chamber, desperately afraid that I was breathing my last breaths, I looked into his eyes and I saw Ben. I knew he wasn't going to harm me. But it was still such a shock when he killed Snoke. Then we killed the guards. We flowed together as one in that battle. It was glorious Leia, you should have seen it! I've never experienced anything like that." Rey's face glowed with the excitement of that memory, and then fell again.

"When it was over, and I caught my breath, I was convinced that I had done it, that I had brought Ben back! But then…."

She stopped. She didn't think she would ever be able to bring herself to tell anyone the things he had said; about her parents, about her, that she was nothing; but not to him. Her voice became a husky whisper, choked with tears.

"It wasn't real. He still wanted the power the dark side offered. And he wanted me to join him. I failed him…..and you." Her head dropped in shame.

Leia squeezed her hand.

"Rey" she whispered. "You were closer to my son than I have been in so long. And you didn't fail him. Many others had failed him long before you. His father, Luke, me. This was not your doing. But it gives me hope that after all this time, Ben is still there. Thank you for trying. It means everything to me. Can I ask you to do one more thing for me?"

Rey enthusiastically nodded, tears flowing freely now.

"Please don't give up on my son the way the rest of us did. As long as you feel Ben is still there, there is hope. And one day, you will tell him I'm so sorry that I wasn't the mother he needed and that I always loved him. I know you will have the chance."

"Leia, you don't understand! Ben is gone! There is no hope for him!" Rey protested.

"Rey, hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you see it, you'll never make it through the night."

Leia closed her eyes and a single tear rolled her cheek. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Rey watched in awe as a slight glow seemed to envelope Leia. The hand Rey was holding faded away to nothing. The blanket held the shape of her body for for a split second before falling back to the bed.

Leia Organa; princess, rebel, general, friend, wife, mother, the heart and soul of the Resistance, was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

She lowered her head to the hand that had been holding Leia's and began to sob. Why does it always end like this? she thought. Why do I lose everyone I love? It's so wrong! She felt lost and alone. Again.

Although she could not hear his breathing through her sobs, she felt the familiar presence. He was here. Her grief exploded into rage. She stood and faced him. His expression was blank, and that fueled her anger even more.

"How dare you!" she growled at him. "How DARE you come here now. She's dead. Your mother is dead and it is ALL YOUR DOING!"

He stepped back from her as she advanced on him.

"You have **destroyed** everyone who ever cared about you! You truly are a monster, Kylo Ren and I was wrong for ever considering, even for a moment that you weren't!" she shrieked.

Poe, who had been waiting outside, ran through the door, blaster drawn. Without thinking, Rey Force-pushed him back into the hallway, slammed the door shut and locked it.

Ren spoke calmly.

"I told you I was a monster. I have never and I will never lie to you."

She flew at him, screaming in outrage and pounded her fists against his chest. He seized her wrists and said nothing; he just kept looking at her with no visible emotion.

"I will destroy you, Kylo Ren," she snarled in his face. "I swear right now, on the memory of your mother, I will destroy you if it kills me."

"I know you will." he said.

She screamed at him again and then slammed the link closed. She hadn't realized that she could close their connection at will, until she had done it on the _Falcon_.

She now heard frantic beating on the door and people yelling her name. She heaved a few heavy breaths, trying to dissipate her fury. A flick of her hand unlocked the door. Poe, Finn, and a security troop ran in, blasters drawn.

"Where is he Rey?" Poe asked, looking around wildly.

"Ren is here? How did he find us?" Fin asked, sounding panicked.

"No, he's not here." Rey said.

"But I heard you yell his name, you were shouting!" Poe said.

"No one was here," she lied. "I was just yelling at the air."

"Where's the general?" Poe asked, looking at the empty bed.

"She's gone" Rey said.

"Gone where? She can't walk – where did she go?" Poe asked, not understanding.

"She is one with the Force now. With Luke and their father." she explained. She didn't feel like talking anymore. The rage still burned in her and she was afraid of what she might do. She abruptly turned and left the med bay, leaving them and all their questions behind.

She returned to her small quarters and closed the door. Her fists were still tightly clenched, and she just now noticed the pain. She opened her palms and saw blood welling up in the dents her nails had made. She had never experienced such ice cold fury in her life. Not when Ren tried to torture her on the _Finalizer_ , when she watched him kill his father, when she fought him at Starkiller base; not even facing Snoke. She wiped her bloody palms on her leggings, looked around her and then tore the room apart.

* * *

 

Kylo Ren stood behind the desk data station in his chambers on the _Finalizer_. He had never been on the receiving end of that kind of wrath. He blinked a few times, and shook his head slightly, trying to clear his mind.

He felt her loneliness as soon as the connection opened. It was the same need he had felt the night he spoke with her by the fire. He believed that it was that need that opened the path between them. He had been shocked at the brief meeting of their minds on Crait, even after Snoke was gone. Snoke, the accomplished liar and manipulator, hadn't been responsible for their bond after all.

He knew Leia Organa had survived the destruction of the bridge of the Resistance carrier. He had felt her presence on Crait. And of course he had known when she died. He felt it the instant it happened, just as he had with Luke. He told himself that he didn't care. It was actually good news. The Resistance leader was no more. They would fall apart without her. He felt nothing for the death of Leia Organa.

But what Rey had said. She had called him Kylo Ren. Those words had punched a hole through his soul more intense and painful than the bowcaster shot on Starkiller base.

Ben Solo was truly dead now. The last person who believed in him had finally given up. Ren was now free to fulfill his destiny and rule the galaxy, Supreme Leader of the First Order. The realization should have filled him with satisfaction, but he felt empty. And, as usual, rage surged up to fill the void. He couldn't have identified a target for his fury, but it was rising.

Rage, his nearly constant companion. They had made a casual acquaintance in his youth, when he still lived with his parents. They became intimate comrades the night he destroyed the Jedi temple. The stable presence he clung to during his "training" under Snoke. An old friend and one he now knew well.

The familiar, uncontrollable urge to destroy, to demolish everything in sight flooded through him. He started towards the closest data console to smash it, annihilate it, punish it for existing. But he stopped. This behavior was no longer acceptable in his position. He was the Supreme Leader. It was time to put childish tantrums away. Instead he called for General Hux.

Hux reported quickly. His body was still bruised and his pride still stung from the beating both had taken during the destruction of the Supremacy and on Crait.

"Yes, Supreme Leader" he said, barely managing to hide a sneer.

"I want you to hunt down the Resistance" Ren ordered.

"Really, Supreme Leader," he spoke condescendingly. "They are of no consequence to the First Order! A few ragged pieces of filth, hiding under a rock somewhere in the Outer Rim.."

His words were cut off when a motion from Ren sent his head snapping back and blood began to flow from his nose.

Ren spoke with fury.

"General Hux, you will not question my orders ever again."

Hux's hand pressed against his nose, trying to staunch the blood.

"Yes, Supreme Leader" his now nasally voice responded, almost with respect.

"You will hunt down every last 'piece of filth'. If we let them go, they will spread through every system, like a plague, until we fail exactly as the Empire did!" Ren's voice rose until he was almost shouting. A group of Storm troopers marching past the chamber quickly did an about face and marched the other way.

"We will devote every resource to this end and we will not stop until we burn out every last trace of the Resistance! Their ashes will be flaunted in every street of every city and every settlement, no matter how small, for all to see the cost of defiance. We will tear apart every planet, every ship, and every moon in the galaxy until we have eliminated this 'filth'! Do you understand? " Ren demanded.

"Of course Supreme Leader" Hux responded, turned and left to begin his mission.


	3. Chapter 3

Six long weeks now they had been on this desolate planet. A dry, barren landscape of rocks and hills surrounded the outpost, an ideal place to plant a secret base, but not much else. There were a few settlements scattered across its surface, scratching out a living in more hospitable zones, but the nearest one was hundreds of kilometers from their post. Supply ships rarely even came this way – usually small ones, chartered by a relative or friend of someone in one of the settlements who had managed to leave this place. What purpose was there to make any regular supply runs, when the people had nothing to trade or buy with?

In the first days, the post had buzzed with purpose. The Resistance troops busied themselves working on the armaments that had been wasting away for almost three decades, attempting to make something useful from the ruined weapons and get the few fighters and transports that had been stashed here flightworthy. The communications techs had re-routed more power to the comm stations, boosting their signal. They searched the airwaves night and day, listening, but only hearing static. Certain that help would come through soon, endless planning meetings were held. But as the days and the silence wore on, these plans seemed like dreams. Six weeks, and not one glimmer of hope. Not one response to their pleas for help.

The last meeting Rey had bothered to attend was three weeks ago. Commander D'Acy was now the senior officer. She was outlining a plan for a reconnaissance mission on a First Order outpost in a neighboring system.

Rey spoke up. "And how do you plan to carry out this mission?"

"Soon we will have help. The outer rim systems are scattered and disparate. It's going to take time! Our call will be answered!" D'Acy responded.

Rey scoffed. "Commander. How many of these outer rim planets do you think will have weapons, munitions, fighters, pilots trained to fly them and soldiers trained to fight?"

"Right now we need people. We can train those who join." was the answer.

"Train people?" Rey asked, disbelievingly. "Train them with what? We have one ship with destroyed cannons. We have seven blasters. The First Order will come. How long do you think we can fight with 23 people and no defenses?"

Lieutenant Connix spoke up. "The First Order must believe we have been defeated. They won't spare the time and resources looking for us anymore."

"I do not accept that for one second. The First Order is relentless. Their resources are limitless. We are their only opposition. Do you really think they will just let us slip away? We should just get everyone into the Falcon and scatter through the galaxy. Stay as far away from one another as we can, and live out our lives as quietly as possible." Rey countered.

"Rey," Commander D'Acy spoke again. "I know our situation is desperate. But no matter how dark it seems now-"

Rey interrupted. "We have to have hope. Yes, I know. Hope was the last thing Leia spoke of. Believe me, I know all about hope. The hope of a small girl, **_sold_** " -the word seemed to choke her, but she managed to get it out- "by her parents to a cruel junk trader, desperately searching the horizon every time she looked up, seeking any speck that might her parents returning. The hope of a desert scavenger; living in a wreck, and combing through burnt out husks, abandoned ships and settlements, even the desert itself, trying to find some valuable scrap that she can trade for food because she hasn't eaten in two days. Hoping that she won't have to fight for those scraps. Hoping that when she trades those scraps for food, that same junk trader won't be in a foul mood and decide that what was worth a full portion yesterday is only worth a quarter today. Hoping for a way to leave that desolate place and find a better life. Leia last words were, 'Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never get through the night'"

Everyone around the table nodded, taking comfort in the familiar phrase, expecting inspiration at the end of her heart wrenching tale. Rey paused, unflinchingly looking into the eyes of every person in the room.

"But that scavenger girl learned - there are nights that never end."

Poe spoke up. "But Rey, you did leave Jakku. You're here now, with people that care, people willing to fight with you for a better life!"

"A better life?" Rey sanpped. "I have again suffered the loss of people that I loved. I am now stuck on another desolate planet, with no hope of escape, only now, I am also waiting for the First Order to blast into orbit and obliterate us with one strike." She looked at Finn. "I wish I had never met you. I wish I had never left Jakku." She left without another word. Finn jumped up and followed her into the hallway.

“And what the hell was that?” he yelled at her. “You think I haven’t had it rough too? I never had my parents either! The First Order raised me. I had no name, I had no friends, I had no family. All I was good for was to fight and to die. But now, Rey, we’ve found these people! They are our family, our friends! They need us Rey. How can you just walk away?”

“Finn! Face reality! We have nothing! We cannot win! All that is left to do is wait here to die! At least on Jakku, I knew that tomorrow I had a good chance of still being alive! Here, I don’t even know if I’ll be alive in the next minute, and there is nothing I can do about it!” she was shouting now. She turned and stormed away from him.

“Rey!” he called after her.

“Just leave me alone Finn!” she yelled back.

The news of her outburst in the meeting spread quickly. Thinking that she no longer believed in their cause, the Resistance seemed to subtly break into two camps. One group glared at her, and whispered words like “Traitor” when she passed. But the other group began to murmur agreement to her discontentment. Rey was walking to the bay where the Falcon was docked one morning when a man grabbed her arm and pulled her into a side corridor. She slapped him and growled “Hey! Hands off!”

“Ow!” he yelped. “Sorry!” She started to walk away.

“Wait!” he yelled, and reached for her arm again, then thought better of it. She turned and faced him.

“What do you want?”

“Same as you,” he said. “To leave here. But there’s nowhere to go on foot. No place close enough, and D’Acy has all the supplies under guard. But you, you’re that girl that can fly that wreck, right?” he asked – jerking his thumb towards the Falcon.

“Yeah, I can fly that _wreck_ ,” she mocked, “but no one’s going anywhere in it, got that?” She went to the Falcon, to warn Chewie. The Wookie had been living on board. The post’s living quarters had been tunneled into the side of a large hill, and had not been built with seven foot tall Wookies in mind.

“Hey Chewie!” she called, and he gave an answering bellow. She found him squeezed into the gunner bay, working on some wiring that had burnt out when the cannons scraped the wall of the canyon on Crait.

“Hey, keep close watch on the Falcon, ok?” His response had an tone of indignation.

“I know,” she answered, “But there are people who are talking about leaving, and the Falcon is the only way. I think they are afraid, and that is going to make them desperate soon.” He gave her an assuring answer.

“Thanks Chewie” she said, grabbing what she came for and returned it to her room before heading to breakfast. She sat with Rose, Finn, and Poe, stirring the bowl of grey, lumpy, tasteless, warmed-over tinned porridge that was served with a dry, equally bland protein biscuit that was passed as breakfast. The quality and monotony of the food did not bother her. It wasn't much different than what she had mostly survived on on Jakku, but she had no appetite. She pushed her tray away and slumped back in her chair. Finn eyed the discarded food.

"You gonna eat that?" he asked Rey, hopefully. Rey gestured for Finn to take the food. She was still sulky and distant after their fight. She got up and left the table without a word.

"What's wrong with her?" Poe asked.

"What do you mean?" Finn replied, around a mouthful of the dry biscuit.

"She seems angry all the time. She stalks through the halls like she's looking for a fight" Poe said. "Finn, you know her the best of all of us - what's going on?"

"I think she’s on edge because of our situation. Isn’t everyone?" Finn answered.

Rose spoke up. "Yeah, and everyone responds different to stress, maybe this is her way."

"Yeah," said Poe doubtfully. "Maybe.  But there's something. I can't put my finger on it. But something is definitely wrong."

Rey headed back to her room. Anger filled her. She felt like they were caged animals here, animals in a pen, waiting to be led to slaughter, and there was nothing they could do about it. And none of them even wanted to do anything about it. She reached under her bed and pulled out the items she had retrieved from the Falcon, the old stack of books she had taken from the Jedi temple. She took the top volume and opened it. The writing was unfamiliar to her. She hadn’t really learned to read on Jakku, there wasn’t much use for it, but she at least knew the letters and some of the words of the common language. This writing looked nothing like that. Instead, she simply paged through the books, poring over the illustrations for now. There were detailed diagrams of offensive and defensive postures and strategies, re-creations of strange, exotic, and glorious buildings, portraits of long dead people, and drawings of mysterious and mystical objects. She spent every hour she could, combing over the ancient texts, gleaning every bit of knowledge she could from them.

She put into practice the only thing she could from the illustrations. Each night, when the work was done, she went into one of the empty maintenance bays. She practiced the fighting stances, using a broken piece of a broom handle as a light saber, Kylo Ren her imaginary opponent. Hour after hour, night after night, she practiced, working herself into an exhausted sweat, and a cold fury, until the new offenses and defenses flowed from her, as natural as walking or breathing.


	4. Chapter 4

Hux steeled himself and prepared to report to the Supreme Leader. In the six weeks since he had ordered the hunt for the small band of Resistance fighters, there had been no progress. Every First Order vessel was patrolling the outer rim systems. Every transport, freighter, and carrier was boarded and ruthlessly searched, often destroying valuable cargo. Ships held fast for days, under threat of destruction, waiting for their turn to be inspected. The resulting disruptions in delivery schedules, as well as loss of cargo was beginning to have noticeable effects on the economy. The merchants and travelers were increasingly getting irritated and demanding the First Order compensate them for their losses.

Every planet, moon, and asteroid of any size was being scanned for uncharted settlements. Nav techs were working days long shifts, to the point of exhaustion, combing through suspicious results. And the communication scans weren't any better. There were literally billions of coded messages sent between these systems every day. The computer systems on the First Order ships were working at max capacity to decode them, filter out any that may be of use, and send them to a communications specialist for review. But these queues were filling to capacity and the comm techs, like the nav techs, were at the breaking point.

He entered the Supreme Leader's audience chamber, bowed and greeted him. Ren had decided to do away with the kneeling. It was an antiquated courtesy, and one he had always loathed.

"Report, General Hux" Ren ordered.

"Uh" he hesitated. "Supreme Leader, we have found no trace of the Resistance as of yet." He almost flinched, prepared for some type of unseen blow, although he had noticed that didn't happen as often lately. He outlined the steps they were taking to find the Resistance.

"And what is standing in your way?" Ren asked. "I feel hesitation in you. Tell me what it is you need."

"More workers, Supreme Leader. There is simply too much data to analyze, too much space to cover."

"Pull everyone from all other tasks then. Train them to do what's needed. I said I wanted every resource devoted to this, and I meant it."

"Yes Supreme Leader" Hux answered. But he seemed reluctant to leave.

"There's something else?" Ren asked.

"It's a delicate issue sir. The searches of the ships traveling the outer rim are beginning to cause problems. People are asking to be reimbursed for their lost cargo and shipping and travel delays. I'll deal with them though. No one makes demands of the First Order."

"Pay them" Ren said.

"What?" Hux asked.

"Pay them" Ren repeated. "We cannot keep control and order if the people we rule want to rebel against us. It will only cause a new uprising, one that is not in hiding. And slow your search. The Resistance is beaten and frightened. They aren't going anywhere for a long time. We can afford to be patient. "

Hux was nonplussed. He hadn't expected this conversation to go like this. "O-of course, Supreme Leader" he said and left the chamber.

Ren retired to his private chambers. Something felt wrong. The anger that he should have felt at Hux's disappointing report never came. He didn't understand it and he didn't miss it. He had been able to make decisions with a clear mind, decisions that were in the best interest of the First Order. Before, he would have ordered Hux to destroy any ships belonging to anyone that complained; their ships, their businesses, their homes – burn it to the ground and teach them a lesson they would never forget. No one defied the First Order and went unpunished. Was this maturity? Had he really outgrown the childish tantrums? Or was it the realization that, as Supreme Leader, he must put the needs of the First Order, and those he ruled, ahead of his desire to punish opposition? Whatever it was, he felt more at peace than he could remember.

Hux stood in the hallway outside of the audience chamber. He was stunned, to say the least. Reasonable reactions from Kylo Ren? And patience? Since when had Ren been able to ever wait for anything? What had just happened? Was Ren becoming weak without Snoke backing him anymore? Hux ordered a meeting of all the directors.

“All departments in the First Order will be operating with the absolute minimum essential staffing from now until the Resistance has been located and destroyed. All other personnel are to be re-purposed to this mission.” There was a general outburst of protest at this announcement. Hux slammed his palm on the table.

"I will have SILENCE!" he roared. "These are the orders from the Supreme Leader himself and they will be followed without question. Do you understand?" he barked. The directors, all terrified of angering the Supreme Leader, murmured their assent. Hux found himself pleased, as always, at the power he held over these people.

"Report back to your departments. I expect a list of personnel you will be giving up in two hours. You are dismissed."

Later, Ren sat in his bedchamber, reviewing reports on a data pad. Hux had managed to commandeer over 1,000 more personnel from across the divisions to aid in the search. Excellent he thought. We will hunt down this Resistance filth once and for all. Yes, he wanted the Resistance destroyed. They were a threat to the order he was destined to bring to the galaxy. But still... the anger that usually accompanied the thought of any opposition to his rule didn't come. He wished he had someone to talk to. He could discuss this with no one in the First Order, lest he appear weak, or that he was losing control. _Rey_ , he thought briefly. But he had not even tried to connect with her since the night of Leia’s death. The rage, pain, and betrayal he had seen and felt from her – that was something he could not go through again. He set the data pad aside and prepared for bed. He had been asleep for only a short while when he felt the presence. A Force presence in his chamber.

Instantly awake and aware, he called out - "Rey?" his voice cracking with more hope than he would admit. A soft glow grew at the foot of his bed and a familiar figure materialized. Not Rey. Leia.

"How is this possible? How are you here?" he snapped.

"Hello Ben" she said, smiling at him as she had when he was a child, full of love. "Those strong in the Force don't really die. Yes, their physical bodies are no longer, but their spirit, everything that makes them who they are, simply returns to the Force" she explained.

"Why are you here?" he asked. The expected emotions, anger and betrayal, what he had felt towards her since she abandoned him to her brother, sprang up in him. "Ben-" she began, but he interrupted.

"Ben is dead" he said, coldly.

"No," she argued kindly. "I know he isn't. Not as long as there is someone who believes in him."

"There isn't" he spat. "You're gone, Han Solo is gone, Luke Skywalker is gone. There's no one left who believes that myth."

"What about Rey?" she asked.

"She doesn't believe in him anymore. All she knows now is Kylo Ren."

"No, Ben. She doesn't. She's angry, confused, and scared. And she's going to need help very soon."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you remember your lessons? It's one of the first things Luke taught you. 'Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering'. I am afraid she has started down that path."

He felt panic rising in him now. "How could she be turning? She went into the dark place and there was nothing there for her! She was untouched!" he protested.

"Ben, when you look into the darkness, the darkness looks into you. It may not take hold right away, but the seed is planted. She's going to need you. You are the last person in the galaxy that can pull her back."

"How can I?" he asked. "I have no light left in me, how can I bring any to her? I can't even find her!"

"There is light in you, Ben. You just want so badly to be Kylo Ren, you refuse to see it. But you feel it, I know you do. The light is rising in you again, Ben." she said.

"But how?" he asked. "I killed it, I snuffed it out!"

"The connection you shared with Rey. She was pure light. You looked into the light-"

"And the light looked into me," he whispered. She smiled and nodded.

“There’s more, though, Ben. You have a destiny to fulfill.”

"To finish what my grandfather started!"

"And what was that, exactly?"

"To bring order and rule the galaxy!"

"That was not your grandfather's destiny" she countered.

"What do you mean? Lord Vader was destined to defeat the Emperor and rule the galaxy! It was foretold!" he cried.

"Is that what Snoke told you?" He nodded, slowly. “Ben, Snoke was a liar and a manipulator. I can sense that you know that. Something happened, he did something, that showed you what he was capable of.  This is the truth about your grandfather, and what he was meant to do. Jedi prophecy foretold of a great Jedi who would bring balance to the Force. Later, the Jedi masters interpreted this as one who would destroy the Sith to achieve that balance. But balance can never be achieved by the destruction of one side. Balance is two halves of a whole, working together in harmony. The light needs the dark, and the dark needs the light. Do you see? Ben, you are so strong, with both sides of the Force, and as long as you deny the existence of either side, there can be no balance, no harmony. The perpetual battle between the Jedi and the Sith kept the Force from achieving that balance."

"I told Rey, the past had to die - the Sith and the Jedi - I, I thought it was the only way for us to become what we were meant to be."

"And you were right. There must be no more fighting between the light and the dark. Ben, you are the one strong enough in both to bring them into balance. You are the Skywalker to fulfill the prophecy."

"But how?" he asked. "The conflict between them inside me is too great. How can I keep either of them from consuming me?"

"The conflict you feel is holding on to the belief that one side must win. Once you fully feel that both are a part of you, then you will understand. Ben, I'm so sorry that I failed you. I am so sorry that I tried to force you into being something that you weren't. Nobody, not even Luke realized what you truly are. But now I that know, I know you are strong enough to walk the true path of Anakin Skywalker. I love you Ben. I always have and I always will. And when the time comes, you will know what to do. I believe in you."

The glow faded and his mother was gone. He was shaken for hours after. He lay in his bed and replayed his mother's words over and over in his head. _How can I allow the light to rise?_ he thought. _I need the darkness to maintain control of the First Order._ He closed his eyes and cleared his mind. They are both part of me he thought over and over. Inside, he felt the darkness, let it rise. _The light too_ he thought. It was difficult, after years of suppressing it, to allow this. He breathed deeper and focused on the pinpoint of white light he felt. It easily swelled up inside him. He let it come. The dark still rose, but the light rose to meet it, as large and as strong. They grew together, each growing stronger and stronger, until he felt it start to spiral out of control. Just as he was about to break off, a brilliant light flashed in his mind. Not light, not dark, but...grey. A pure, beautiful grey light sparked within him. In it, he felt peace and harmony.

Just at that moment, the comm panel in his chamber chirped.

"Supreme Leader, may I see you?" Hux, he thought, you really have the worst timing.

"Meet me in my audience chamber in 30 minutes" he said, and left his bed.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose was having a wonderful dream. She was with her sister, and they were the ones riding the fathier, and it wasn’t night. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and they were riding out to have a picnic lunch. Her dream was disturbed by a pounding on her door. She groaned and hid her head under her pillows. However, the visitor was insistent.

“Rose!” It was Finn. She blew out an exasperated sigh, forced herself out of the bed and opened the door.

“Finn” she said, “You know I love ya, but really- it’s too early”

“Not for this” Finn replied and strode into her room. “Come on in” she said under her breath and closed the door. “Rose. I have a brilliant idea” he said, excitement glowing in his face.

“Wouldn’t it still have been brilliant at lunch time?” she asked. She had worked night shifts on the Resistance base for so long, getting used to functioning in the daylight had been a difficult transition for her. After arriving at Dactar, she soon became well known as a very late riser.

“No” Finn said, oblivious to her irritation. “We need to act on this now.” Rose plopped back down on her bed, grabbed her pillow, and covered her face again. Finn rudely (in Rose’s opinion) yanked it away and pulled her off the bed.

“Come on, Rose. This is really important, and I need your help.” Rose drank from the bottle of water on her bedside table and motioned for Finn to talk. “I know how we can get the Resistance some weapons. Blasters, laser cannons, fighters, whatever we need.”

“And just how are you going to pull this off?” she asked, skeptically. The Resistance leadership had been debating this topic endlessly for the last 8 weeks.

“You’re not gonna like this” Finn cautioned.

“Just tell me” she snapped. It definitely was too early to play word games.

“Canto Bright” he said. Rose jumped up.

“WHAT? Are you kidding? No way. No. Noooo. No.”

“Just hear me out, Rose. On the ship we borrowed-“

“Stole” Rose insisted.

“Whatever – on that ship, DJ showed me the owner’s business records. We knew that those people got rich dealing arms, but this guy, Rose, he sold arms to the First Order and the Resistance. The records were right there for me to see.”

“Finn, we don’t want to win this way. Enriching the scum that treats people the way we saw on Canto Bright?” she shot back.

“Rose, if we don’t at least start fighting, there will be nothing left to fight for!” She thought for a long moment. “Let’s discuss this with Rey and Poe.”

“Alright!” Finn chimed exuberantly. They left together for the cafeteria, where most people would be at this time of the day, eating breakfast, such as it was. They saw Poe, but Rey was nowhere to be seen.

“Poe, Finn has a really dumb idea and he wants to tell you and Rey so you can shoot it down” Rose said.

“No, Rose,” Finn said, shooting her an annoyed look. “It’s a brilliant idea and we need to talk about it.”

“What is it?” Poe asked, grimacing as he forced down another spoonful of the awful porridge.

“Not here” Finn whispered. “We need to talk in private. And we need Rey.”

“Ok. Let’s go find Rey.” Poe said, rising from his seat, not really sorry to leave the breakfast behind.

“She’s probably in her room – she never comes out of there anymore” Rose said.

Finn pounded on the door of Rey’s room. She shoved the book she had been looking at under her pillow and opened the door.

“What?” she said sharply.

“Hi Rey, and good morning to you too!” Poe snarked as he walked into the room. “Finn and Rose here have some idea they want to run by us. Finn says it’s brilliant, but Rose hates it, so this should at least be interesting.”

“Let’s hear it” Rey said shortly. She wanted to get back to her reading, such as it was.

“Ok” Finn began. “So when we were on Canto Bright, Rose told me that all these rich people made their money in arms dealing. And then on the shuttle we borrowed-“

“Stole!” Rose interjected.

Finn turned to Rose. “Would you please?” he asked her.

“Is there a point here?” Rey asked, impatiently.

“On that ship, DJ showed me the owner’s business records. Guys, he wasn’t just selling to the First Order. He sold arms to the Resistance as well.” He paused to let that sink in.

“Big surprise” Poe said, not sounding surprised at all.

“What?” Finn and Rose asked at the same time.

“Come on guys. The Resistance needed arms. Where do you think they came from? The Anti-First Order Fairy?”

“So you knew?” Rose asked.

“Well, I knew they came from somewhere shady, but I never asked.” Poe responded. “This is a war. You do what you have to do, and you examine your conscience later. Canto Bright, huh?”

“Yeah” Finn said. “And we need to go back.”

“Well, not us” Rose added, gesturing at herself and Finn. “We’d probably get arrested before we even got to the casino.”

“Ok, well, someone needs to go” Finn said.

“I hate to pour cold water on your little fire” Rey said, “But even if we were able to get there, how do we go about finding a someone that won’t turn us in? We have no idea who the Resistance dealer was. And we have nothing to buy with. So, what – we just walk in and say ‘Oh, Hi! We’re in the Resistance! We’d like 10 X-wing fighters, 40 laser cannons, 3 transport ships, and 300 blasters. And send us a bill, we promise, we’re good for it.”

“I think I can help with at least part of that” Poe said. They all looked at him. “Before she died, Leia gave me all the access codes to the databases. We can probably find what we need in there. But we need D'Acy’s permission.”

“Since when do you ask permission?” Rose asked.

“Since I almost caused the destruction of the Resistance by not following orders.” Poe said. They were all quiet a moment, not knowing what to say to that.

“Well, let’s go talk to Commander D’Acy then” Rey said. The sooner this idea was rejected, the sooner she could get back to work. They knocked on Commander D’Acy’s office door. “Come in” she called. Finn explained the plan. The Commander tapped a finger on her bottom lip while she considered the idea.

“That’s not bad” she said.

“No!” Rey said. “It’s a terrible idea. The First Order would be on us in a second if we made a show like that. And we still have no more people! Even if we can buy these weapons, how can we do any damage to the First Order? And how do you propose we get there? The only thing we have that can fly is the Falcon. Even if we can counterfeit it’s transponder, it’s probably the most wanted ship in the galaxy. The instant someone recognizes it, we’re finished.”

“Rey” the Commander responded. “I was very moved by what you said in the last meeting you attended. I do not want to turn this setback into that night that doesn’t end. We can start small for now. We get enough firepower to mount some guerilla attacks on First Order targets. Let them know we’re still here and we are still committed to bringing them down. It might be just the show of force we need to get people to sit up and notice that there is still a Resistance, and that we’re still fighting. Give them enough to believe in to join us. Show the galaxy that there is hope, there will be a sunrise. What do you need?”

“I have access to the databases, but I don’t know where to find the information I need. I need someone who can find that needle in the haystack.”

“Done,” she said, “I know just the person. What else?”

“Well, money for sure” he said. “This isn’t going to come cheap.”

“General Organa planned on supporting the Resistance for as long as it took to bring down the First Order. I have access to all the funds she accumulated. I assure you, it will be enough.”

“We need something to fly,” Poe added. “Rey’s right about the Falcon.”

“We may have a solution for that. The mechanics tell me that one of the transports may be able to fly soon. Who is going?”

“Me” Poe volunteered immediately. “I know exactly what we need and what will be most useful to us.”

“I’ll go” said Rey. “I can be useful – I can fight, and I can use the Force if we get into trouble.”

“Ok – Poe and Rey, you’re going. And if this transport actually will fly, you can take that. Commander Dameron,” she said, giving him a field promotion of sorts, “Provide me with daily status reports on this mission” “Thank you Commander” Poe said as the group left her office. Poe pulled Rey aside in the corridor.

“Hey. You were dead set against this idea. You were certain it’s a suicide mission. Why would you volunteer?”

“If you’re actually going to go, you are going to need help. As much as I don’t like the plan, I don’t like the idea of losing our best pilot even less.” It was a complete and utter lie, but she sold it.

“Thanks Rey.” Poe said.

She went back to her room and resumed her reading. She really did think this plan was stupid and reckless. But she still wanted to go. She hoped they would get caught on Canto Bright. That the First Order would take her right to Kylo Ren. And then she would have the opportunity to destroy him.

One of the comm techs spent a week combing through the databases and finally found the names, photos, contact details, and locations of several arms dealers the Resistance had bought from. They briefed Commander D’Acy. She looked over the names and details of the contacts.

“How do we narrow this list down?” she asked Poe. “Where do we begin?”

“Commander, we already have intel on Canto Bright from Finn and Rose. I think we should begin there. There’s one name highlighted, Duman Hanktin. He’s a high stakes gambler, and he operates from Canto Bright, at least he did. I think that’s where we should start.”

“I agree” D’Acy said. “But be prepared to move on to other contacts. This data must be close to 30 years old. We can’t know it this person is even still alive, or if he’s even going to be there.” she pointed out.

“Of course” Poe agreeded.

All maintenance techs, and anyone who could turn a wrench, were assigned to get the transport running. Test flights were successful and finally, Poe reported to D’Acy that it was ready to fly.

Rey had been making her own preparations. While poring over the Jedi texts, she had seen the detailed instructions on building a lightsaber. She had dismissed it as anything that she could use, because, without being able to understand the written instructions, it seemed like a very dangerous undertaking. There were illustrations within this text of mangled limbs, and scarred faces. She wasn’t sure if they were examples of what a light saber could do, or what could go wrong while building one, but she wasn’t taking any chances. But now – she needed that light saber working before they went to Canto Bright. Without it, her hope of being caught by the First Order had no purpose, she would have no weapon with which to fight Ren.

 _Wait!_ she thought to herself. _3PO! What was that he was always bragging about – how many languages he spoke?_ She knew it was something like that. She pressed a button on her comm panel.

“3PO – where are you?”

“I am in the munitions bay, Master Rey” he responded. She hated that. Now that Luke was gone, 3PO insisted on calling her that.

* * *

 

“I don’t own you, 3PO. Don’t call me that.” she had snapped, the first time.

“But R2-D2 says that now that Master Luke is gone, you are the last Jedi. It then stands to reason, that you are also the last Jedi Master. It would be improper to use any other title for you, and as you know, my primary function is protocol.”

“I am not a Jedi, I am not a Master, I’m…..I’m nothing.” she told him, but she could not persuade him otherwise.

* * *

 

“Can you come to my room?” she asked him.

Over the open comm channel, she heard him engage in a brief argument with R2-D2 about the schematics of a laser cannon and the best way to get it working again.

“I would be delighted, Master Rey” he said, after a series of rude noises from R2.

He arrived a few minutes later. “How can I be of assistance?"

She pointed at the book on the table. "Can you read this?" she asked.

"Of course" he said. "I am fluent in over 6 million forms of communication." He briefly appraised the text. "This is an ancient language, thousands of years old. I may not be able to get it exactly correct, but I can be certain of a 99.9978% accurate translation. But, I can do better than that. I believe you are going to use this information attempt to repair the lightsaber you had in your possession when we left Crait. I helped build that lightsaber."

Rey had never had a strong urge to hug a droid before. She pulled the broken pieces from under her pillow. "Close enough" said Rey. "We have work to do. But 3PO, no one can know about this, do you understand?"

“But why not Master Rey?” he asked, a puzzled tone in his voice.

“Because, 3PO,” she thought fast. “This is going to require supplies and tools that may be needed for other tasks. No one is going to think this is a priority. But what good is a Jedi Master without a light saber, huh?”

“Excellent point, Master Rey. I am sworn to secrecy.” The real reason she wanted to keep it secret was simple. Anyone else would know that rebuilding the lightsaber would only serve one purpose. To kill Kylo Ren. And that might lead them to think that she was not fit for the mission to Canto Bright, that it might make her reckless and endanger the mission. D’Acy might decide not to send her. She had had to smuggle tools and supplies out of the maintenance areas. Luckily, what she had needed was small and was easily concealed. A wrench here, some wiring there, a small soldering kit. She worked furiously on the light saber, and with 3PO’s help, she had gotten all the internal components rewired. Welding the outer casing, though, that had proven more difficult. She didn’t know how to weld, and 3PO, being made of metal, really couldn’t. She snuck the pieces on to the Falcon one day.

“Chewie – I need a favor.” she said. She showed him the outer casing of the weapon. “I need to know if you can weld these back together.” He growled his assent, and something more.

“I just want it to practice with,” she assured him. “I need to keep up my skills.” she lied. He had the casing welded back together in a matter of hours. Back in her room, she connected the internal components to the activation switch, but the first time she tried to ignite it, the energy burst nearly destroyed her room. Fortunately, it was late at night and everyone was sleeping. The blast was so fast, no one even heard it. She brought 3PO back in.

“Oh my!” he exclaimed, surveying the damage to her quarters, “What happened here?” She explained. Together they began to pore back over the schematics, looking for something that they had missed. “It’s right here” 3PO pointed out to her. “The power regulator hasn’t been properly configured.” A few adjustments with a small screwdriver, and she tried again. The familiar blue glow of the light saber filled her with immense satisfaction. She was ready for her mission.


	6. Chapter 6

Hux was waiting for him when he arrived. He bowed his head in greeting as Ren entered the chamber.

“What is so important that you feel that you can summon me?” Ren asked, coldly.

“We have intercepted a transmission that may be coming from the Resistance.” Hux answered, curtly.

“Explain” Ren allowed him to continue.

“It is a distress call originating in the Tanagra system. It’s purportedly from an ore freighter, experiencing engine failure.”

“What’s so unusual about a freighter with engine trouble transmitting a distress call?” Ren sighed, impatiently.

“Sir – this particular freighter does not exist. We cannot find it’s registry identification or transponder codes in any First Order database.”

“Hux. Why are you wasting my time? There must be hundreds of unregistered ships smuggling in the outer rim.”

“Sir-“ abandoning caution, Hux was beginning to show frustration, even though he knew there as a good chance that would send him to a medical suite. “There was also an encrypted data stream embedded in the distress call. I think we should at least dispatch a Star Destroyer to the Tanagra system to aid in the investigation.”

“No.” Ren countered. “There is too little evidence that this has anything to do with the Resistance. I’m not wasting resources chasing phantom transmissions. Keep analyzing it. If you can decrypt it and get more definitive information, only then will we act.” Ren knew, if the Resistance was still following even the most basic of protocols set by his mother, the comm techs would be dust in their graves before any First Order computers could break that encryption. Unconsciously, he was stalling for time.

“Of course, Supreme Leader” Hux bowed. He left the audience chamber, in confusion after yet another strange encounter with the Supreme Leader. He should have gleefully ordered the entire fleet to Tanagra, shouting out orders to hunt them down and destroy them, as furiously as he had on Crait. Alone in his chambers, far from Ren’s ability to intrude into his mind, Hux thought, _He’s getting soft and weak_ , feeling disgust. First, letting merchants get away with demanding anything of the First Order. Now this. Letting an obvious chance to narrow down the hunt pass by without even ordering a Star Destroyer to investigate. Today he spoke of wasting resources, when only weeks ago, he had ordered that every resource be devoted to finding them. To his mind, Ren was becoming more and more unstable, even as his moods appear to be becoming the opposite. He was so different from the Ren that Hux had always known. There were no destroyed rooms to repair and no trips to the medical bays to treat injuries caused by Ren lashing out. Hux was beginning to lose his fear of Ren, although he hid it in his presence, and remained deferential and submissive. Something was very wrong. As he searched for the root of these changes, one thing kept coming to him. _The girl_ , he thought. This all started with her. Ever since they had first been made aware of her and what she was, Ren had not been the same. What had happened between them the day the Supremacy was destroyed? Did he have feelings for that scavenger rat? Was it making him soft? She needs to be annihilated he thought. And he has to be the one to do it. He needs to burn this out of him so he can be the leader the First Order needs.

He summoned Director Alexita, former security chief of the Supremacy, to his chamber. “Were the video surveillance records of the Supremacy transferred to the central computing systems before it was destroyed?” he asked her.

“I believe so, sir.”

“Good. I need to see all footage from entry and exit points to Supreme Leader Snoke’s audience chamber from that night.” he ordered. He wanted that girl captured, and he needed images of her to do it.

“And the footage from inside the chamber?” she asked.

“What?” he exploded, shocked at the idea that Snoke had allowed any cameras to record his most private interactions. “There were cameras inside the chamber?”

“Yes sir. Supreme Leader Snoke ordered them installed hours before the destruction of the ship. I presume that he knew something was about to happen.”

“Bring me that footage, **now**!” Hux screamed. He was enraged that this had not been brought to his attention immediately after the battle on Crait, when they had announced Snoke’s death to the First Order. But the manner of his death, and the suspect had been a closely hidden secret. No one wanted it to be known that a barely trained girl from the Resistance had managed to bring down the Supreme Leader of First Order in his own audience chamber, in front of a full complement of Praetorian guards, and Kylo Ren.

“You’ll have it within the hour, sir.” Alexita hurried off, glad to have escaped the general’s wrath.

After viewing the footage, Hux summoned Alexita again. His first instinct was to have Ren arrested on the spot for treason and murder. Ren was powerful, he had seen what he and that girl had done to Snoke’s guards. But Hux could command every trooper on the ship to corner him and bring him under control. They would render him unconscious quickly and execute him before he even knew what was happening. But after reviewing the footage again, and analyzing the interactions between Ren and the girl, he had other plans. His instincts had been correct, Ren felt something for this girl. Snoke had known it, too. What was it he had said? ‘ _You feel compassion for her._ ’ Indeed, that and more, it appeared. He would make Ren suffer by torturing the girl for information on the location of the Resistance base and making him watch. Then he would have them both executed, destroy the Resistance, and have himself installed as Commanding General of The First Order. He wanted no part of being a ‘Leader’. He wanted domination of it all.

“I want you to put a bounty out for this girl,” he ordered, as soon as Alexita reported. He handed the security chief a data pad containing the footage of Rey outside of Snoke’s chamber. No one else must know what had taken place inside until this first part of his plan was complete. “10 million credits, but she must be brought to us alive. And I want all copies of the footage from inside the chamber to be destroyed.” He had placed that footage on a data pad that he alone had access to, one that was not connected to the First Order central computing banks. “Do you understand me?”

“Of course General” she said, and left. He smiled to himself, relishing the thought that he would soon be in command of the First Order, and continued his work.

* * *

 

Ren sat in his dimly lit private chambers, meditating and trying to re-create that spark of grey he had managed to produce. He focused on the light and the dark inside of him, and tried to control their balance. He had seen the brief flash a few more times, but he could not hold on to it, his thoughts wandering, mostly to the search for the Resistance. He worried that the First Order would soon find some irrefutable proof of their location, and he would be forced to act before he was ready. And then there was her - _Rey_. _Where is she, what has happened to her, can she fight the darkness?_ As he thought of her, and the intense emotions those connections with her had brought to him, he felt a renewed clarity and focus. Concentrating on that feeling, along with the light and the dark, he saw the grey spark again. Once he caught that glimmer, he focused all his energy and every bit of the Force he could bring to bear on that pinpoint. It began to grow, almost exponentially. Suddenly, the grey light exploded inside him, throwing his head back and his arms wide. He opened his eyes, and time had stopped.

There was complete silence, he couldn’t even feel the beating of his heart, or the tidal flow of his breath. He saw individual dust specks, floating on the air, but not drifting with the currents. And what he felt! It was unlike anything he had even imagined possible. He felt not just the Force, but every living thing connected to it. He felt the joy of a honeybee that had finally found a flower; the sadness of a pet, whose owner was gone; the exhilaration of an unborn baby, as it’s heart began to beat for the first time;, the desperation of a father, whose only son lay in a medical bay, suffering from an ailment that he could not afford to treat. All of the joy, sadness, loneliness, despair, love, anger of the galaxy, all of it, he felt.

The intensity of it overcame him and he collapsed. He felt his heart begin to beat as he gasped for air, recovering from the exertion. He groaned as he stood, prepared for his body to be tender, but he felt no soreness or stiffness. His mind felt more clear than he could ever remember. He probed his feelings, and the Force inside him and no longer saw light or dark. Only they grey. He had done it!

“Balance” he whispered. The glow he had seen before began in his chamber again. _Mother!_ he thought, excited to see her again, to tell her he had done it. But it wasn’t Leia.

“Uncle Luke” he greeted the visitor.

“Ben” Luke said. “You did it. You have achieved what no other Jedi or Sith was able to do. You have achieved the balance.”

“I feel it” Ben replied, “But only in me. The rest of the Force-“

“Is not” Luke finished. “No, it is not. This is just your first step, Ben. When you are ready, you will bring this balance to the whole of the Force.”

“But how?” Ben asked.

“You must bring this balance to that connection you were just now feeling.” Luke answered.

“But it was too much! It’s every living thing in the galaxy! I only touched it for a few moments and it overwhelmed me.”

“You need help, Ben. Balance is achieved by two halves in perfect harmony. You have balanced the two halves of the force within you, but to bring that balance outside of you, you need your other half.”

“Rey” he whispered.

“Rey” Luke nodded.

“I understand. I will find her, and I will finish what Anakin Skywalker was truly meant to do.”

Luke smiled and nodded at his nephew. “I know you will Ben. I’m very proud of you. And I know your parents would be too.”

“Will you tell my mother – “ he broke off and dropped his head. What words were there to tell her how sorry he was for everything he had done? All the hurt, pain, anguish he had caused her?

“She knows, Ben” Luke said kindly.

“Will I see her again?” he asked, hopefully.

“No one can say for certain” Luke answered. “But anything is possible. See you around kid.” he winked and faded away.

 _Rey!_ He wanted so badly to share this with her. After his mother’s death he had not tried to connect with her again. Seeing the rage and pain his presence had caused her was more than he could bear again. But he reached out now, and there she was, as before, he only her, not her surroundings. She seemed to be laying down. He only managed to call her name before she shut him out. _I need you Rey he thought._ He must find her, soon.

 _What now?_ He asked himself. _Kylo Ren is dead. Do I end the First Order? How can I continue as the Supreme Leader?_ If anyone suspected even a small fraction of what had just happened to him, Hux would declare him a traitor to the First Order and have him arrested. He was strong, but he could not fight off the entire army that would be brought against him.

The First Order could not be disbanded quickly. Command over the Empire had been tightly maintained by the Emperor, using Darth Vader as his enforcer, and this had allowed the Empire to be finally brought down in one day, with the death of both its masters. The Alliance had been well organized for war, but had poorly planned for peace. Millions of people who directly and indirectly sustained the Empire; troops, officers, pilots, engineers, maintenance techs, systems techs, medical techs, and millions more – had suddenly been left without any support. Some had skills had allowed them to survive, but many hadn’t. In the years before the New Republic could establish any kind of control, countless numbers had died; from starvation and fighting over resources.

Fighting like the disputes over the Empire’s property; hundreds of Star Destroyers, carriers, freighters, transports, thousands of fighters, millions of pieces of equipment outfitting thousands of ground-based posts and stations in orbit around hundreds of planets. Major skirmishes, bordering on wars, had been fought over the property, buildings, equipment, and arms, causing even more death and destruction. The rapid loss of the Empire’s control and the resulting power vacuum had caused chaos throughout the galaxy and had unequivocally contributed to the rise of its successor. When the First Order had begun to form, many of the Imperial survivors eagerly joined, bitter at the perceived lack of progress the New Republic had made.

The end of the First Order would have to be meticulously planned and controlled, the free-fall that had happened three decades ago could not be repeated, to ensure that the end of this ‘empire’ never gave rise to another.

* * *

 

Rey and Poe arrived on Canto Bright and went to the casino. Rey was in awe of the opulence of the place. At the same time, it enraged her.

“So many are barely scraping by, and these people had more than they would ever use in 10 lifetimes!” she spat.

“You need to play it cool, Rey” Poe warned. “There’s security all over a place like this. If they feel for one second that we don’t belong, this will be over before it even starts.” She took a deep breath, and tried to bring her anger under control. They strolled through the casino, watching the gaming, sipping drinks, and occasionally placing a bet, looking for their contact and trying to blend in.

“There he is” Rey whispered and nodded her head towards one of the gaming tables where a dice game was being played. They made their way over and Poe casually slid in beside Duman Hanktin.

“Are you up or down?” Poe asked, striking up a conversation.

“I never count when I’m still at a table!” Hanktin replied, slapping Poe’s back good naturedly. “And who are you my friend?” he inquired.

“I’m Nicitag Wedtig and this is Lenata Reyman” Poe gestured to Rey. She nodded, not trusting herself to speak for fear she would tell this piece of scum exactly what she felt towards him and his kind.

“Duman Hanktin, please to meet you.” He threw the dice and shouted in frustration. Poe leaned closer to Duman and asked casually,

“Do you know what time the sun rises?” using the code phrase from his file. Duman stopped for a short second, then threw the dice again.

“Sun rise is at 9 tomorrow morning,” he replied quietly. “Of course,” he continued, “At that time, I’m usually playing cards in the East salon. Perhaps you’ll join me?”

“Sounds great” said Poe. “Until tomorrow then.” Poe extended his hand and Duman shook it. They lingered around the casino, gaming, eating and drinking, so as to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Eventually they had lost all the money they had brought to gamble with and had reason to leave. Back in on the transport, they discussed their plan.

“So, according to the records, his answer is the time we should meet him tomorrow and he should give us a holo disk with what he has to sell. He’ll arrange another meeting for tomorrow evening, and that’s when we’ll make the buy and arrange for payment and delivery.”

“I hope this goes as planned then” Rey said, and yawned.

“Get some sleep” Poe told her. “With any luck, we’ll be out of here tomorrow evening.” She nodded and went to her bunk. She was just slipping off to sleep when she felt him. It had been months since he had been with her, and she filled with rage.

“Rey” he whispered and she shoved him out of her mind before he could say another word.

* * *

 

On board the Finalizer, Director Alexita hurried to find General Hux. She had very good news for him.

“General, an arms trader on Canto Bright has found the girl, and someone else is with her. We have reviewed the casino security video feeds, and identified him as Poe Dameron, the Resistance pilot.”

“Excellent work!” Hux praised the director.

“Should I order us to set course for the Bright system?” she asked.

“No!” Hux exclaimed. Ren could not find out. “Ready my shuttle. I will go there personally and bring her here.”

“Very good, General” she replied and left to carry out her assignment. _When I take over, he thought, I may just have to promote her._

* * *

 

The next morning, Poe and Rey found Hanktin, right where he said he would be.

“Good morning my friends!” he greeted them warmly. “Please, join me! I can use the help. A beautiful woman always brings luck with her. Here my dear,” he slipped a few gambling chips into Rey’s hand, “Place this bet for me and bring me luck.” The holo disk was on the bottom of the stack. Rey slid the disk into her other hand, and placed the chips on the table. They waited out this hand, which Hanktin in fact won, and two more.

“If you’ll excuse us,” Poe said, “I promised Lenata a tour of the docks. She’s been looking forward to seeing the yachts.”

“Of course!’ Hanktin said, “Remember my friend, always give a beautiful woman whatever she wants!! But before you go, I was hoping you would join me for dinner tonight. I have a private dining room reserved. Say, at 7 o’clock?”

“Of course we will” answered Rey. “I look forward to it! I’ll meet you in the lobby then. Enjoy your tour. And Lenata – make sure you tell him you want the most expensive yacht you see!” he laughed and returned to his cards. As soon as they were gone, Hanktin slipped out of the casino. In a quiet back hallway, he opened a communications channel from his small data pad. A holo image of Director Alexita appeared.

“Yes?”

“Tonight, 7 o’clock” was all he said. She nodded her head and terminated the connection.

Rey and Poe did indeed take a tour of the dock, but again, the luxury and the life of ease Rey saw made her sick.

“I can’t fake this anymore” she hissed at Poe. She could feel the dark anger rising and was certain that she was not going to contain the urge to destroy these vessels with power she had inside her. They returned back to the transport as soon as they could. Poe inserted the holo disk into the portable player and the browsed through the dealer’s inventory.

“Look at all of this” he marveled. Hanktin appeared to have everything for sale; Tie fighters, laser cannons of all calibers, 40 different models of blasters, transports, cruisers, X-wings, and munitions. Poe almost salivated at the thought of soon being able to ‘jump in an X-wing and blow things up’ again. Together, they made a list of what they wanted. 5 X-wings, 300 blasters in 2 different models, hundreds of thousands of round of ammunition, replacement cannons for the Falcon, hundreds of explosives. The cost was going to be astronomical, but still would only make the barest dent in the Resistance funds.

“We should be able to do some real damage to the First Order with his” Poe commented, tapping their list.

“Now we just wait for dinner” Ray said.


	7. Chapter 7

The met Duman in the hotel lobby precisely at 7 o’clock.  The sun was setting over the city and the lobby was filled with warm light.  She wore a loose fitting pair of pants and had the lightsaber was strapped to her lower leg in the holster she had created. 

“Lenata, you look lovely this evening” Duman exclaimed, wrapping his arm around her waist, and kissing her cheek.  It made her skin crawl.  She wanted to drive her knee up into his soft belly and smash his nose in with the heel of her hand.  Instead, she smiled and thanked him.

“If you don’t mind,” Duman said, “I’ve asked an associate of mine to dinner.  He’s an old friend of your group and is eager to speak with you.”

“What associate?” Poe asked.

Duman leaned closer and spoke softly, “Someone who has done business with your group before.”  Poe considered this.  _Maybe another contact we can buy weapons  from,_ he thought.

“Sure, why not?” Poe agreed.

“Excellent, excellent!” Duman said.  Keeping his hand on Rey’s back, he led them to the private dining room he had reserved. 

Rey felt Poe’s suspicion.  She tried to use the Force to carefully probe Duman’s mind, to find out what exactly who this associate was.  But she was not practiced in this art.  As the dining room doors slid open, she had still been gently, but blindly feeling her way into his thoughts when Poe shouted.

Rey was stunned to see a red haired First Order officer at the table, flanked by two Stormtroopers.  Lightning quick, she bent to retrieve the lightsaber, but two more troopers, who had been standing beside the door, grabbed her from behind.  Two others restrained Poe.  Her mind immediately went to the Force, to push them away, but before she could think, one of them shoved a hypo canister against her thigh and she collapsed to the ground. Poe was shouting her name, but she didn’t move. 

“Commander Dameron, I’m General Hux.  It’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.” he sneered.  He rose from the table and strode over to them until he was almost nose to nose with Poe.  “Can you hear me now?” Hux snarled and backhanded Poe across the face.  He then moved to stand over Rey’s prone form.  “No Force tricks from you my dear,” he taunted.  He pulled his leg back and kicked her, hard, in the ribs.  She made no sound or movement.  It felt so good, he did it again.

 “DON’T TOUCH HER!!!” Poe shouted.

“Resistance filth!” he spat at her.  “Take them to my shuttle.  Make sure the girl stays unconscious.”  The troopers roughly hauled Rey off the floor and through a back door of the dining room.  

“Don’t want to disturb the customers” Hux mocked at Poe, as the troopers holding him hauled him off in the same direction. 

“Wait!” yelled Duman.  “There is the matter of my payment.”

“YOU!” snarled Poe.

“Well,” said Duman, your money would have been good, but-,“ he shrugged, “Theirs was better.  It’s just business, you understand.”

“The First Order appreciates your loyalty and assistance,” Hux assured him.  “The credits have been transferred to your account.”

“As always,” Duman bowed slightly, “It’s a pleasure doing business with you.”

Poe roared and struggled against his captors, but they held him fast and dragged him out the door.

They were roughly thrown into the shuttle.  Poe’s hands and feet were shackled, and he was secured into one of the jump seats.  Rey, still unconscious was also strapped in, but because she had no muscle control, Poe watched helplessly as the violent shaking of the shuttle as it left atmosphere, jerked her body like a Porg caught in the jaws of a vicious animal.  Rey felt a dim ray of wakefulness trying to return twice on the shuttle.  But whenever she came close, the pain in her body caused her to moan.  As soon as one of the troopers noticed, they injected her with the anesthetic again, and she returned to blackness.

 

When the shuttle docked on the _Finalizer_ , Poe was dragged off to the brig.  Hux directed the troopers to bring Rey to the Supreme Leader with him.  She was still limp and lifeless. They half dragged-half carried her behind their commander.

Ben felt her presence as soon as she had been brought aboard, and he knew something was very wrong.  She wasn’t shutting him out, and it wasn’t the dark side.  It was as if her mind were drowning in a black pool.

In the hallway outside the audience chamber, Hux ordered Rey’s guards, “Wait here.”

Hux entered the Supreme Leader’s audience chamber. “Supreme Leader,” he bowed.  “I have brought you a gift.”

“What is this General?  I am in no mood for games.” he snapped.

“Oh, I think you’ll enjoy this one Supreme Leader.”  He turned to call to the troopers waiting just outside the chamber.  “Bring her in!”

Ben was stunned to see two Stormtroopers carrying the limp form of Rey.  He struggled to contain his emotions.  For the first time since the night his mother died, he felt the monster of rage rattling its cage.

“What is this?” he asked Hux, with a tone of disgust.  At the same time, he reached out to Rey through the Force. _Rey, can you hear me?  It’s Ben.  What’s happening?_ He got no response.

“Oh, you don’t not recognize her?” Hux asked, gleefully.  “Supreme Leader, this is the scavenger Resistance trash that killed Supreme Leader Snoke!” Hux declared, victoriously.

Ben’s mind buzzed with fury. “I know who she is,” he snarled.  “But why is she here?”

 “I brought her to you so that I could have the pleasure of watching you torture her for information about the Resistance, and then destroy her!  Wake her up!” he barked to the troopers.  One of them produced another hypo canister, this one containing a stimulant, and jabbed it into her thigh. 

Rey swam back to consciousness, but just barely.  Her whole body hurt from the Stormtroopers rough handling while she was out.  But the worst pain was in her side.  It burned like fire with each breath she took.  Before she could even move, Ben crashed into her mind. _Rey, stay still, don’t speak.  You are in a very dangerous situation.  Let me handle this._

Rey moaned slightly, and curled into a ball, cradling her knees. Then she went limp again and slammed her mind shut against Ren.

“You idiot!” stormed Hux.  “You didn’t give her enough – again!” he motioned to the trooper with the hypo. “I want her awake and aware of everything that happening to her!”

“General Hux – stop this!” Ben shouted as the trooper hit her with the stimulant again. 

“Why?” Hux sneered.  “I know the truth Kylo Ren.  This girl never had the power to kill Supreme Leader Snoke! I had my doubts from the beginning.  And I saw, there were cameras in the audience chamber that night!  You killed Supreme Leader Snoke!  And this girl has made you soft and weak. You have become a traitor to the First Order! I’ll get the information out of her myself while you watch.  You’ll both be executed before the morning!” Hux was now screaming in fury. “Restrain him!” he shouted to the troopers.  They stood, frozen, unsure of what to do.  “You have your orders!!” Hux screamed.  They turned their blasters on the Supreme Leader, but Ben Force-slammed them to the ground, knocking them out.   

Meanwhile, the double dose of stimulant flooded through Rey’s body.  She felt every nerve and muscle singing now.  Her injuries still hurt, but she no longer cared.  She had just managed to get her fingertips on the lightsaber during the confrontation between Ren and Hux.  With an almost inhuman roar she woke up.  Time seemed to slow for her.  She was aware of every movement of her body.  In one heartbeat, she leapt to her feet, grasped the lightsaber, and ignited it.  She advanced on Kylo Ren. 

“KILL HER!” Hux screamed to Ren. “PROVE YOUR WORTH TO LEAD THE FIRST ORDER!!”

Ben flung his hand toward Hux, causing him to fly into the hallway and he slammed the door closed.  With his other hand he drew his own lightsaber and ignited it. He didn’t even have time to speak before Rey was on him, screaming and snarling like an enraged animal.  He countered her attacks, but he made no offensive moves.  She kept coming at him, furiously raining blow after blow at him.  He could barely keep up.  All he felt in her was darkness now.

“REY!” he shouted at her “DON’T DO THIS! IT’S BEN! STOP!!!  DON’T MAKE ME HURT YOU!”

She did not even hear him through the red fog in her mind as she continued to strike and strike and strike, perfectly executing the textbook maneuvers she had been practicing.  He stumbled and fell and she pounced.  He got his lightsaber up in time to block her next blow, and she bore down on him, forcing his own saber closer and closer to his face.

“I swore I would destroy you Kylo Ren, and now I will fulfill that promise!” she hissed in his face.

“Rey!” he cried, “You already did! Kylo Ren is gone.  Ben Solo is all that is left.”

She finally seemed to hear him. She drew back slightly in shock and he managed to raise his foot to her stomach and push her away.  She fell back and screamed in agony, as the kick landed against her broken ribs. He jumped to his feet.  He had not wanted to hurt her, but he needed to make her listen.

“LIAR!” she screamed, bent over, clutching her side.  “YOU ARE A FILTHY LIAR KYLO REN!”  She charged him again.  And again he only countered her attacks; he did not try to strike her.  Then he heard his mother’s voice. _When the time comes, you’ll know what to do._

As she spun around to add momentum to her next attack, Ben extinguished his lightsaber and let it fall to the ground.

She stopped cold, lightsaber still raised.  “What are you doing?” she demanded.  “Pick it up!”

“No,” Ben said calmly. “I won’t fight you Rey.”

“PICK UP THE LIGHTSABER!” she roared at him.

“No.  Rey, it’s Ben.  Not a lie, not a trick.  Reach out with your feelings, you will know  it’s true.”

Her body relaxed slightly, but the look of fury remained on her face.

“No” she whispered.  “It can’t be.  Ben is GONE!  YOU KILLED HIM!  JUST LIKE YOU DESTROYED EVERYONE ELSE!!”

“It is.” he said.  “Rey.  Take my hand.”  He removed both gloves and dropped them to the floor. “Take my hand,” he coaxed gently, holding out the same hand he offered on the _Supremacy_ , but not moving towards her.

She was gradually lowering her lightsaber, and, moving almost as if she didn’t realize she was, inched closer to him.  As she crept nearer, the lightsaber continued to lower, until it was at her side, but still ignited.  She reached out her hand, and rested her palm atop his. 

“You feel it, don’t you?” he asked her. 

“It’s not real” she began crying.  This was so far beyond what she had ever expected, even though she did feel it, she could not believe it.

“Yes, Rey.  Yes it is” he persisted.  Ever so slowly, not wanting to frighten her, he raised his other hand and grasped her wrist.  She gasped at the touch.  He pulled her closer, and pressed her palm to his chest.  “Can you feel it Rey?” he asked, searching her face hopefully.

She could feel his heart pounding through the layers of cloth and leather.  Her eyes closed, and then, yes, there it was….something, more.  It was peace.  He was completely at peace, she could feel it. And she felt _him_.  Ben Solo.  He really was here.  There was no trace of Kylo Ren.  She extinguished her lightsaber and let it fall to the floor.

“But how-” she began to ask the thousand questions flying through her mind.

“I promise that I will tell you everything later.  But right now I need your help Rey.  The entire ship’s complement of Stormtroopers is about to pour through that door.  They will kill you and when Hux tells them what happened, they will kill me.”

“But what can we do?  Fighting off 10 Praetorian guards is one thing, but almost an entire army?” she asked, desperation filling her face.

“I know what to do,” he said.  “But you need to trust me.  Completely.  Can you give me that Rey?” he asked, looking calmly into her eyes.

“Yes” she whispered.

“Good” he whispered back, and kissed her forehead.  He pressed her hand more firmly against his heart.  It was pounding so hard and so fast, she didn’t know how his body could contain it.

“Close your eyes” he said softly, “And tell me what you see.”

She did as he asked, and focused on his beating heart.  “Grey” she sighed.  “It’s so beautiful, I’ve never seen anything like it” she breathed.

“Good!” he quietly.  “And what do you feel?”

“Peace, harmony.  _Balance_ ” she whispered breathlessly.  She was overcome by these awesome feelings.

“Alright.  Now reach out – feel the Force surrounding you.  Do you feel it?”

She did.  She felt the Force as she never had before.  She felt it just as Luke described it, the energy connecting all living things in the galaxy.  She was aware, not just of the Force, but with every living thing connected to it.  “I feel everything!” she said, her voice full of wonder.

Ben closed his eyes as well.  It was time.  And he did know what to do.

“Rey, we need to let this balance flow from us to the Force.  Can you do that?”

“Yes” she sighed.  And the balance that Ben had achieved flowed furiously through them and into the Force, into every living being.  As much as they could give, the Force took.  And it kept taking from them, it seemed as if it would never stop taking, but they both felt like there was no end to what they could give.  She felt his heart stop under her hand and realized that she herself was no longer breathing. But they didn’t need it.  The Force was sustaining them.  She could feel the bruises to her body healing; could feel the broken ribs knitting back together.  And finally, when the Force had filled with that balance; the link broke.  They still felt a connected, but only to the Force.  The bond to all living things had ended. They both gasped as their hearts started beating again and their breath returned.  Her eyes flew open and looked directly into his.

“What was that?” she asked in wonder.

“The Force coming into perfect balance between light and dark” he told her. 

“You did that?” she exclaimed.

“No, Rey.  We did it.  This would have never happened without you.  I had extinguished all the light from my soul.  I sought only the darkness, until you. Your light brought mine back. And I could not have balanced the entire Force without your strength.   And now you are free from the darkness that had been consuming you as well.”

She raised her free hand, and gently cupped his cheek. “Ben” she breathed.  He dropped her hand from his chest, wrapped both of his arms around her, and pulled her tightly against him. She put her arms around him as well.

“Rey,” he whispered and bent his head to kiss her.  It wasn’t an ardent, passionate kiss.  It was sweet and slow, and filled with everything they wanted to say in that moment.

Armitage Hux, a general no more, entered the room. “Supreme Leader?” he said, uncertainly.

The kiss ended, but Ben still held Rey against him, her cheek now pressed against his heart. “No,” he answered, looking at Hux over her head.  Rey delighted in the feel of his voice rumbling in his chest. “There is no more Supreme Leader.  The First Order is no more.”

“I… I know” said Hux, still bewildered.  “But how?  What happens now?”

“Armitage, there is all the time in the galaxy to answer that question.  But for now, tell the First Order to stand down.  And release Commander Dameron-”

“Poe” Rey interrupted. “No more First Order, no more Resistance.”

“Release him from his cell, and find him guest quarters.

“Of course” Armitage answered and left.

Hands twined together, and Rey leaning against him, they walked to Ben’s chambers.  They sat on the bed, facing each other.

“He’s got a good point, you know,” Rey said.  “What does happen now?”

“There is balance now, but it must be sustained.  I’ll need your help to do that.  And there will be much work to do, dismantling the First Order.  Rey, will you stay with me?”

“Of course I will, Ben.  I’ll help in any I can, you know that!”

He chuckled.  It was the first time he had laughed in a decade, and it felt wonderful.  “No Rey.  That’s not what I meant.”  He took her hand in his.  “Will you _stay_ with me?”

She understood.  She brought her hand to his face again and he held it there.

“Forever.” she said. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

They talked in his bedchamber that night.  Their conversation rambled from topic to topic, from the serious to the amusing.  Rey managed to make him laugh several times and he relished each one.  He outlined his ideas for a slow dismantling of the First Order to prevent the mistakes of the past.  Before long, he felt an emptiness coming from her.  It was difficult to place at first, because he had never felt this feeling from another person.  _She’s hungry_ , he thought, _and she doesn’t even realize it yet.  We are never going to be able to hide anything from each other,_ he realized, and smiled.

“No, we won’t,” she said out loud and they both laughed.  He tapped a button on the bedside panel.  Within minutes, servant droids arrived, pushing carts full of food.

“That was fast,” she marveled, lifting covers and smelling the food.

“Being Supreme Leader did have its advantages.” he replied.  She looked at him stunned.

“What?” he asked, suddenly worried.

“A joke.” she said.  “You just made a joke?  Have you ever done that before?”

“Not for a long time.  It feels good!” he said. 

After they had eaten their fill, the events of the night caught up to her.  She was tired, and she felt grimy from the efforts of the fight in the audience chamber.

“Is there somewhere I can clean up?” she asked.

He motioned towards a door.  “Through there.  Take your time.”

As she walked to the bathroom, he said, “I’m certain there are a few officers on board that are about your size.  I’ll find you some clean clothes.” He rose from the bed and turned to leave the chamber.  For an instant, what he said reminded her where she was and, out of habit and instinct, the idea of being left alone on the _Finalizer_ filled her with fear.  As her emotion touched his mind, moments from the past exploded in his head.  The reign of terror he had lead as Kylo Ren flooded over him, body and soul.  He cried out in anguish and fell to his knees, covering his face with his hands. 

She rushed to him.  He blindly reached out, clinging to her and burying his face in her stomach, sobs racking his body.  She murmured soothing sounds as she stroked his hair.

“Ben,” she whispered.  “That wasn’t you.  Ben Solo was never was and will never be capable of those things.”

“But I allowed it to happen!” he wept.  “I stood by and let him do all those unspeakable things!  I wasn’t strong enough to stop him!”

“It wasn’t you!” she insisted gently.  “Snoke created Kylo Ren.  He manipulated him into doing _his_ will.  Ben Solo had no part in it! And what  you did, what Ben Solo did tonight, you brought peace to the entire galaxy, in just one moment!  Imagine what you can do with the rest of your life.  I believe that more than atones for what Snoke did.  You can rebuild what he destroyed.”  As his sobs began to trail off, she knelt as well, face to face with him.  She gently took his face in her hands and looked directly into his eyes.  “I believe in Ben Solo.  The galaxy does too, even if they don’t yet know who you are, even if they never know your name. We can never change the past.  But together we will change the future.” He embraced her and buried his face in her neck, “Thank you” was all he could say.  And he did not leave her alone that night.

After she had bathed, he gave her one of his loose tunics to wear.  He hated the thought of seeing her wear his usual black, so he had searched until he found an old ivory tunic he had worn for physical training, long ago.  Her tiny form swam in the yards of fabric, but she was warm and comfortable. 

Then he took his turn in the bathroom. When he emerged, she was fast asleep.  He smiled and slid carefully into the bed, as not to wake her.  She slept soundly, but he never closed his eyes.  He was too captivated by the way her presence gratified his senses – her sleep scent, the way the dim light played on her hair, the sound of her breathing and her soft snoring, the warmth of her next to him. 

Soon, too soon, the lights began slowly rising, simulating the sunrise, signaling the beginning of a new day.  He quickly touched a button on the bedside panel to dim them again.  He knew she was exhausted, and wanted to let her sleep as long as she needed. She woke not long after, though.  He felt her momentary confusion, wondering where she was.  Then her eyes focused on him, and she smiled. “Good morning?” she asked drowsily, unsure of how long she had been asleep.

“Good morning, indeed” he whispered, his voice gravelly.  As they looked into each other’s eyes, a hunger inundated them.  Without another word they reached for each other.  They made love, slow and sweet, the universe fading away until it was just them, consuming each other, finally, both halves truly becoming one.


End file.
